![]() There was also a pet section that included a tank with live turtles inside, and there were hamsters too. On the counter, there were plastic fruits, vegetables, and a chicken drumstick. In another area, there was a large toy kitchen with a play stove and sink. I noticed that because he was peering out at me. There were enormous building blocks that one boy was using to build what looked like a large fort with windows. The school hadn't started yet, so all the children were free to play for a short while before class began. They seemed happy enough and not at all in the same state of abandonment I was. Like an innocent lamb, I let her lead me into a large play area where other children were. Shaw kindly took my hand and said something in a sing-song voice as though that were going to erase all that had transpired in the last five minutes. I had no other recourse except to let go of my mother and let the sadness sink in. She may as well have taken me out to the woods with the same lunchbox and left me there. There was nothing more I could do to convince my mother that abandoning me in the kindergarten annex of the Everglades Elementary School was a terrible idea. They were twins! They had each other, which sort of nullified any bravado they might have exuded in Mrs. I didn't want to know that she thought they were both braver than I was on their first day. I didn't care if she'd taught both my brothers before me. I was losing the battle, and I was going to have to stay in that god-forsaken place with that charlatan, Mrs. It then dawned on me that none of it was working. In retrospect, it was the kind of smile one uses when they are holding back laughter. I remember noticing that my mother was smiling. I was going to be sick in front of everyone! How could I make friends if I threw up in front of everyone? I then reminded my mother I'd had raw cake batter just the night before. I tried to excuse myself and told the teacher that I would be back in a few days. I said I had a terrible stomachache and that I couldn't stay. If my mother was going to lie, it was only fitting that I should do the same. She reminded me that they too had been in this same situation and said, "Look how they love going to school now!" That may have been the first time it occurred to me that my mother was a liar! Was she not ever listening to my brothers complaining incessantly about having to go to school? Did she not live in the same house? She used my older brothers as examples of children who love school. Instead, I clutched onto my mother as though it would somehow keep me from being left there! My mother tried to loosen my grip and reminded me that we'd talked about this and that it was time for me to go to school. I remember she bent over and asked my name. She tried to make me feel welcome, but I didn't care. In retrospect, she likely knew to expect children who were new to a classroom environment as the concept of preschool was not prevalent in the seventies. I remember feeling frightened and uneasy even though the teacher, Mrs. I hadn't attended preschool, so it was all very new and unfamiliar to me. The year was 1972, and I was five years old the first time I stepped into a classroom.
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